If you live in the country, especially if it’s a wooded area, the first thing you will be taught when driving is to watch out for deer. Yes, deer, as in the cute, gentle-looking creatures who munch grass and flee if you so much as glance at them, their white tails flying up in warning to their friends. However innocent they may seem, if they run at you while you’re driving, they can cause damage to your vehicle or yourself. Deer are the most active at dawn, dusk, or night, and it’s more common to see them in the fall and winter, so these are the times that country-dwellers like myself have to take extra precautions.
Generally, I do pretty well watching for deer, but only a few days ago there was an incident that suggested otherwise. I was driving to work in the early morning. The sun was up, but it was still dark enough that I needed my lights, which is prime time for deer to be on the road. I knew this, and I was hyper-focused on making sure no deer escaped my notice, only to have the opposite problem. I started seeing things. Several times I could have sworn I saw a deer standing by the side of the road or lying in the shelter of the trees, but it was only a bush or some leaves. My eyes fooled me so many times that I let down my guard, and my mind started to wander to other, more engaging subjects.
I’m sure you can guess what happened next. As soon as my attention was off of potential deer , I drove right past one. It was a doe. She wasn’t even hiding in the trees, but was standing in plain sight in the yard of one of the houses I pass every time I head into town. She stood so still, and I was so out of the present moment, that I would have said it was just a fake decoration, except that I knew this house had never had any deer set up before, and the likelihood that they had set one up now was extremely low, and later proved when I drove back to my house later in the day. I had driven right past a deer who was only about 8 feet away at 45 mph, and I decided that it was a miracle that the deer didn’t get scared and run right into me.
That deer got me thinking though, about optimism and pessimism, and how negative thoughts can affect your mood. Optimism and pessimism isn’t about what you think about a glass of water, it’s a perspective. The water itself isn’t important; it’s how you look at it. And how you look at things affects not only what you perceive, but your mood, thoughts, and reactions as well.
When I was thinking about deer, that was all I saw. If there had been a raccoon or a possum, I might not have seen it, because I was so focused on looking for deer. But as soon as I let my mind wander, I passed a deer without even noticing. Life can work the same way. When I’m looking for negatives and problems, that’s what I’m going to find, regardless of reality. The metaphorical glass could be half-full of hot chocolate, and I wouldn’t notice because I would be too preoccupied thinking about how its half-empty. On the other hand, if I’m focusing on the positives, I won’t care about how much liquid is in the glass, because I’ll be excited to drink hot chocolate, regardless of the amount.
When things happen in my life, whether they are good or bad, if I’m worrying about everything bad that could happen, I’m setting myself up to be stressed, which can end up worsening my anxiety and depression. But if I let myself think about the positives of the situation, my view of the situation will be more balanced, and I’ll be in a better place to cope with the issue. Like the deer I passed, it’s easy to forget about the good things if you’re only focused on your problems. But if I can practice thinking about the positives too, I can be a more balanced and stable person, and I’ll feel better too.
Are you an optimist or a pessimist? Do you ever focus too much on the negatives of a situation and cause yourself more stress than necessary? Let me know in the comments!